No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
He really likes Obama...and Bill Clinton too. He said "I mean, how many presidents can say that they got head in the oval office?"
Soulmates.
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
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