i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
i wonder why nobody wants to date me...im doing a crossword at work and asked out loud: whats a 4 letter word for 'a reason to get married?'
i was like PREG?
he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize