if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
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