have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
You know how the doctor said I need to stop being vegan unless I find a way to get more protein? There's protein in beer. The doctor wants me to drink more beer.
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
Randomize
