I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
I woke up to him trying to put his dick in my mouth. When I asked him what he was doing he said he was trying to make me stop snoring...
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
Randomize
