JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
Randomize
