I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
Randomize
