She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
Randomize
