He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
Well, I'm off to go seduce a gay man. In 10 years when I'm 300 pounds, sitting in a mumu surrounded by my 500 cats, remind me of this text. That way I can be like "ohhh THERE'S where I went wrong!!"
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
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