Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
