areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
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