I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
Randomize