I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
You grabbed the hot guy that was making out with his girlfriend all night, slurred "I need to borrow this" then shoved your hand down his pants. All because you thought your ex walked into the bar. It was majestic in its shitshowness.
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
You ate ashes out of my bong
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
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