My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
Randomize