you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
She's making her own pesto again. Cooking spaghetti in the microwave and "frying" vegetables in the toaster oven. All this while wearing the yellow rubber gloves and saying that the pesto has feelings like a real person. Im terrified.
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
This is my life. Enjoy the view
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
Randomize
