Having your wife answer your cell was so lame. Maybe we can talk when you get your phone, your facebook account, and your balls back.
Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
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