sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
Randomize
