Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
