Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
I put an asterick after the names of people in my phone that I've fucked. Both as a form of bragging, and also so I can actually remember all their names.
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
I woke up under a house in Key West
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
Randomize
