You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
he shaved USA in his pubs
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
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