I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
So my roommate and I have a written agreement stating that if he tries to sleep with his ex girlfriend, I have to immediately intervene and nut punch him then send her on her way.
this is the most serious roommate agreement ever
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
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