As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
Randomize