Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
Randomize
