we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
I was told I sang Taylor Swift's entire discography in between violent bursts of green vomit before falling asleep in the bath tub
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
Randomize
