i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
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