dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
Randomize
