did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
Randomize