its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Randomize