dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
Randomize
