I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
this hospital has no fireball
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
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