If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
Randomize
