My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
Randomize
