I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
On second thought, is it weird that I scheduled a surgery that determines my fertility around lingerie football night? I might have fucked up priorities.
Absolutely not. I would have done the exact same thing.
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize
