His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
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