Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
