Whod you bang
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
Randomize
