On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
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