Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
Winning the lottery was the best thing that ever happened to my penis.
Greatest pickup line ever: "We are out celebrating winning the lottery."
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
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