I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
You were sober bartending last night right?
Sorta. I remember you crying, ripping rose petals off the flower stem and slowly sprinkling them behind the bar at me and singing softly
Romantic
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
Randomize
