I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
Measuring your booze intake in glasses is like measuring Rosie O'Donnell's weight in ounces.
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
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