please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
The cop took you back from the hospital and the lady at the front desk said "how are you doing cal?" You said "how do you know my name?" she responded "you're the only person i've ever seen that can throw up in your back pocket." Skills dude.
Randomize
