so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
me + whiskey = a bad person
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
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