Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
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