Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
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