Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
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