i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
Randomize
