i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
You can fuck right off with that, "If the earthquake isnt bigger than 5.0, we native Californians dont get out of bed." I am from Chicago. I can handle freak flash floods, polar vortexes and tornados. But my bed violently shaking at 6:30 in the morning is cause for some understandable concern.
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
Randomize
