if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
Randomize
