i just walked in on my sister drunkenly sobbing to sarah mclachlan. its time for an intervention.
didn't that happen to you last weekend?
shut up.
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Randomize
