In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
Randomize
