My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
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