Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
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