He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
A Valium induced mom decided to walk into my bedroom this morning without knocking. Guess what I was doing? FML
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
Randomize