we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
Sorry my hands just texted you
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
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