ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize
