you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
this is an emotional support booty call
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
