my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
So the same great-aunt that told me to freeze my eggs for procreation just told me that I should strut around the dance floor b/c I'd get picked up.
I need to meet your family.
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