if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
Randomize
