i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
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