my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
I set the bag of cheetos on the open box on my coffee table while I was watching TV. I was so high I ate half of the styrofoam peanuts in the box by accident. Am I going to die?
I hope so
now i know why i became what i already was.
Even the bartender felt bad for me
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
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