I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
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