yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
Randomize
