It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
Randomize
