he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
Randomize
