I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
Why the fuck do they always fuck on couches in porn?
Don't ever text me while you're jacking off. EVER.
she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
Randomize