I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
I love how my cats smell like pot.
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
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