I hope mine doesn't look like that
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
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