i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
It's a sad day when ur phone automatically updates u on Thursdays that traffic is normal and how long it will take to get to the bar
That's fucking great actually
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
Pretty sure he proposed because my house is awesome. His ass is a ten and he's offering to pay more than half the bills... How expensive is a divorce really? I mean I could probably put up with him for three or four years but a lifetime is a big ask.
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