the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
I wish my new phone didn't autocorrect so well. People will never experience the magic of my drunk texts because they think I'm making a coherent statement.
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
Randomize
