You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
Randomize
