if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
Someone shit on the floor
I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
Semen is not good for contacts.
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
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