Grow some girl-balls and come out already
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
Randomize
