this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
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