Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
This is not my ceiling
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
Mass text: You have all failed me. How have the people I loved so much let me go so long in life without ever eating a McRib sandwich?!
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
Randomize
