he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
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