He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
Randomize
