We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
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